TRUTH > the lies

The TRUTH is greater than the lies.  It is both a simple statement and a complicated one.  It is cornerstone principle for parenting.  Our world today is filled with lies: lies about who we are, lies about our value and worth, and lies about what we can or cannot do.  It shouldn’t surprise that our world is full of lies when we’ve been told that lying is the native tongue of prince of this world.  Unfortunately, many groups, companies and individuals contribute to this culture of deception for one simple reason: get someone to believe a lie and you can predict his behavior.  Convince me that I have to dress a certain way to get respect and you can predict that I will attempt to dress that way.  Convince me that I will never be good enough and I will first try to prove you wrong; but eventually, I will believe you and find some way to numb the pain of disappointment.

What does this have to do with parenting?  Our kids struggle at times.  On occasion, they make choices that leave us asking, “Why did you do that?”  We wonder why they would make a choice they know to be harmful (because we have told them it’s harmful).  This question, which often has no answer from our kids, leads us to frustration or anger.  I have been angry at my kids and the choices they make many times.  Maybe you have too??  But, what if I understood that my kids are influenced by the lies they hear.  What if I understood that when my kid believes a lie about themself, their choices are a direct response to this?  How would this understanding affect my response?  Imagine I can convince you that the room you are sitting in right now was on fire.  What if I convinced you that the every door to the room was locked and you could not open it?  Would you grab a chair, or something similar, and throw it through the window to escape?  Of course you would!!  What if someone was passing by when you did this and didn’t see the fire?  Would they think you were crazy?  Of course they would!!  Now, if there really is a fire, your actions make perfect sense; but, if there is no fire your actions (which are based on a lie you believe) make no sense.  How would you approach your kids when they make poor choices if you understood this?

How do I know this is true?  Well, part of the answer comes from my own study.  The other part of the answer comes from painful life experience.  Having spent a long time living in response to lies, I know firsthand the power of TRUTH to overcome lies. 

What does it mean?  Simply this – our battle is not against people, our kids or the decisions they make.  Our battle is with the lies and the father of lies.

fight the lies.  speakTRUTH.

Observations about TRUTH and the lies:

The lies often appear easier than TRUTH.

The lies can sometimes hide TRUTH, but only for a time.

The lies create bondage, hurt and disappointment; TRUTH sets us free.

This is why I know: TRUTH > the lies.

Shawn Breeden is a parent coach with Revolution Family Coaching.

A Family Culture of Accountability

Parents whose children are showing defiant and disobedient actions and attitudes often wonder if there is any hope for changing this reality.  We speak often about helping our children learn to be accountable -- taking responsibility for their choices and actions -- but we often confuse compliance with accountability.  Compliance exists when our children simply do what we ask, but only when we are watching or they fear getting caught.  Accountability, on the other hand, is a condition of one’s heart and exist without regard to who is watching.  Accountability is a choice to expose every part of one’s life to the light -- to being into the open things others would conceal.

So how do parents help to create a culture of accountability?  Parents who are working toward creating this culture share in common the fact that they love their children.  This is good because love is the foundation upon which accountability is built.  Consider the words of Jesus:  “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching...”  The implication is that obedience and love are tied together.  If we desire accountability, we must first teach our children obedience -- respecting every authority placed in our lives.  We must teach our children not to fear obedience or to hide disobedience.  It is through teaching and practicing obedience that we lead our families into a culture of accountability.

For parents looking for help in creating a culture of accountability or addressing other struggles with their children, New Parenting Revolution offers unique support through In-Home Parent Coaching.  If you are struggling, get the help you need from a family relationships expert, spending time in your home working with your family.

Parents Struggle in Silence...

If your car is stalling out every time you stop at a traffic light, what would you do?  You would take it to a trained professional mechanic.  If the lights in your home were flickering throughout the evening for no obvious reason, what would you do?  You would call a professional electrician to come to your home and address the problem.  If someone in your family had been sick and throwing up for three days straight, what would you do?  You would call the doctor and get the sick person checked out.  The answer to these questions is obvious and clearly make sense.  So what can parents do when something is stalled, flickering or sick with their family or children?  Call an expert to help...

New Parenting Revolution offers parents a unique opportunity to have a family relationships expert come to their home and help bring peace and hope back to family life.  For many parents, family struggles are a pain experienced in private.  When parents are struggling with children who are making self-destructive and defiant decision, there is often a fear of embarrassment or “labeling” that keeps them from seeking help or talking with others.  They fear the school their child attends or other parents will look down on them or treat them as outcasts.  While research shows that many, perhaps even most, families experience struggles, little is offered to help.

Some parents will reach out to local counselors, but for many families once a week sessions in an office don’t yield many results.  New Parenting Revolution’s Parent Coaching program offers a completely different approach.   A  coach spends time in your home, learning about parent and their family.  The parent coach offers input as situations are happening and can offer valuable insight into what the “real issues” of a family’s struggles are.  

New Parenting Revolution is affordable and available to families all across the United States.  If you or someone you know is struggling with defiant children, let them know, there is hope...

In Home Parent Coaching - a new option for parents and RTCs

Many parents have dealt with frustrations in raising their children.  For an increasing number of families, these challenges lead to parents seeking outside help.   In many cases, traditional once-a-week- counseling is having no impact on the overall health of the family and options are growing slim.  Many parents will begin looking at therapeutic boarding schools and residential treatment centers (RTC).  There are many organizations online that offer family assistance and work directly with parents to find a solution or program that works for them.  However, many parents experience extreme "sticker shock" when they hear these programs can cost $35,000 to $60,000 per year, AND, require their son or daughter to be away from them for 9 to 13 months.  For an increasing number of parents, they simply cannot afford this option and are left feeling helpless.  Other parents choose to not enroll their children for fear they are acting to quickly -- they don't know if they are ready for such a "drastic" step.  For many family assistance organizations and educational consultants, residential treatment is the only service they have to offer.

This is an unfortunate for everyone involved -- parents are left feeling like there's no hope, children continue down self-destructive paths, families continue to hurt and enrollment specialist see clients "walk away" with no help.  New Parenting Revolution offers a unique solution for families facing these tough situations: In-Home Parent Coaching with family experts.  Imagine being able to have the parent coaching support needed come right to a family's home for three days of intensive coaching, training and evaluation.  This is followed up with six weeks of coaching sessions, twice a week, conducted by video-conferencing.  Services also include written evaluations, family crisis support available 7 days a week and the opportunity to see real change happen right in front of parent's eyes...at a fraction of the cost of residential treatment.  Parent coaches travel to families, making this service available anywhere in the United States and beyond.

New Parenting Revolution is pioneering a new approach to family solutions.  Parents, churches, schools and community organizations are discovering the difference In Home Parent Coaching can make.

For RTC Admissions Directors and Educational Consultants, this is a great opportunity to have something different to offer the families you work with.  Financial compensation is given for referrals and you are also able to keep contact with families that are struggling with the decision to enroll.  New Parenting Revolution's evaluation may recommend residential treatment for families AFTER the In Home coaching visit.  Parent's are more comfortable with this decision knowing a family expert has observed their family, in their home and recommends this kind of treatment.

For questions about In Home Parent Coaching, please visit: www.newparentingrevolution.com